It's OK Hef. I've been alone for most of the prime decade of my life. And I'm 99% sure he's slept with more different girls in a month than I have in my entire life, and only partially was responsible for selling and breeding the sexual objectification of women like drugs. But the girls seemingly needed some vehicle like that, which is why I was gonna create my ^!+^ Brand but built on intelligence, and respect, and class, and Love and depth...now apparently I'm just going to have to breed some such creatures into actually existing and program them from scratch or find a way to retune the entire over-heated American brand.
Meh. Don't listen to me. I'm a dork, nerd, geek, idiot, fool, romantic who still sees beautiful women as things I want to Love and Respect more than f7ck.
I guess that makes me the weak soul that's blah, blah, blah and (still) alone. Unlike everyone else I guess. But that takes strength.
Which is why seeing the weakness and promiscuity in some disheartens and sickens me so I supposed. And why I'm torn.
I buillt my life around a model of respect for women based on the desire to find and have a female version of myself to marry one day. I had no idea the status quo American women would clip and cheat and lie and crush my simple-and-true desires for love and to treat others as I would have liked to been treated by them.
That's how it's supposed to work. Instead so many people are just whatever, but you're an entire God damn living being, if you allow the more dominant of the species to reduce the value of your existence to a purely-monetarily-subscribed wet hole between your legs, well, it's simple and easy, but it's a LOT worse that just modeling swimsuits and looking pretty and sweet because you still are in the mind, heart, and soul.
So just behave carefully, because when reality pulls this Anna Nicole Smith stuff with the brand captain himself, I do wonder why.
As long as everyone is happy and no one is hurting at the expense of others' happiness, then I have no problem with whatever, but I do realize the ultimate tragedy of delaying my life so long while referencing my father's example as acceptable while still vowed to not leave a string of marriages and children as he did at any cost.
I figured Ultimate Existence and making a reality show-like project out of my life might keep me safe and well designed/aimed like that with my little harem/orbit/DreemTeem or whatever, but instead the powers that be didn't fill that mansion-based request instead there's been this for 4 years.
I just hope I haven't been hurt/injured/scarred for life. Sincerely.
The degrees of not cool have gone so far at times the records of them indicate
http://healthland.time.com/2010/12/27/hef-the-marrying-kind/
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