I've been depressed and pissed-off all day because of that additional barrage of daggers in the dark when sh7t was already so beyond the pale of unacceptable disrespectful if not evil in the psyops engineered whatever-the-f7ck that certain sub-troupe of clowns has been doing since I opened the virtual door and bmy trust and vulnerability, and what did I get handed?
The kind of sh7t that dateline documentary I only had one channel and so therefore virtually no choice to endure late night?
On top of being psychologically raped by so many peoples' lies and sick and twisted pathological lifestyles, and then literally destroying Mr. F7cking Super Genius "I'm too nice." (she actually said that when I responded to her breaking into my house asking for help and terrorizing me with lies and hidden apparently eviul truths that are hidden in the behavior, but it doesn't take a team of the f7cking best alphabet psychiatrists they got to tell you apparently some of these sub-cultural behavioral mindsets are clearly 5 poisionous, so to intentionally cause, allow, or repeatedly throw or try to force that sh7t in my face when I have-oh-so-patiently not aggressively sold what bIo've created, this, bedcause it's literally a matter of national and global and core-out security, and so the fact that I suffer for very clear and dramatic reasons as this entire time my proccessors are forced to the s...
Grrr....response, because the bullsh7t has gone so far it's now dug itself this really, really, really awkward inverted reality, because when I finally have the platorm to direct me directly at the crowd and audience instead of this, gee, I guess I am "too nice", if by "too nice" you mean initially open, honest, and trusting - because that's what I am, and what people have to be in or to be allowed to deal with me on any remotely personal level, and it's because I've always considered myself and always generally relatively speaking been invincible, which is why I try to used my GIVEN blessed genetic 'Trillion Dollar Abilities' to help and teach and fix and protect and support and improve and analyze and create and show and outperform all existing things possible of Principle above principal, and did you see that one part on the Dateline fauxumentary (I don't even know what to call this absurb art and logic these destroyed to the point of damn near inversion whatevers have been created, in terrorrist ways as Jersey Shore stars make )???( and the existing arguably not-evolving population cancer-like human-existence-foundation consumption machine ruins its 2000+ year old "whoopsy greek" ass right through all kinds of dumb and absurb and oh-hey-did-you-forget-smartypants-alien-dna-guy-overrode-god-but-they-apparently-didn't-consider-the-technology-that-we-truly-are-(and I can prove)-well-enough, or why is the Legoset of existence built they way it is? But why is it still in the wrong direction at the same time French Canadian bad faux reality actors have sure as f7ck not been doing their duties as decent and Future worshipping and protecting life forms, but the whole system is f7cked up so some things are understandable, but being a part of it and blatantly, boldly, and intentionally harming at my expense when I am the one with nothing because I had already lost/given it away to the wong evil bitches before, and when the world sees just the kind of wrong and evil that was done to my, oh hay, there I am on camera again...clips and pieces for the full height and drops of the rollercoaster from Mr. F7cking Perfect to truth-about-the-beast gaping, glaring, sticking-toungue-out-of-v-between-fingers-after-breaking-into-my-house-at-5-on-a-Sunday-morning-grade-after-two-and-a-half-years-without-a-returned-phonecall-or-word-downfalls of random ex-Lakergirl-then-suddenly-seeking-susan-lookin-hair-chopped-off-nose-pierced-ebonics-speaking girlfriends that were just too selfish and concerned about the wrong shallowness and meaningless things like most people compared to the natural full-depth-and-height-strate at which a mind, body, and soul like mind operates, but when I dated her it was just 'meh', but normal. But liked to go out and party too much. A party girl. I'm the type that prefers to stay home in bed and do watch movies or do exactly what Oi do now. It's who I am. I can give you a list of many reasons and explanations why, and you know what they're sll gonna come back to? Me being a complete sweetheart badass, but do to bad dumb luck the wrong types of evil bitches caught up in someone/something just ruining straightforward agreement-based honesty and loyalty software, and just like the other absurd way the world is inverted with all this financial class terrorism via eletronic social networks, and, *ding*dong*, the entire world is an electronic social network now, wow, what ab dumb f7cking time for anyone in history to be evil or apathetic all thing considered, ya know?
You think there is some f7cking excuse for your silence and lack of apologies for all the beyond-belief wrong that was done?
I guess we'll just have to see where everyone's minds and hearts are once they go on the little time machine ride that shows why and how Mr. F7cking Perfect came to exist in this situation, and the longer you unduely (this here now) put very, very, very valuable technology in this situation of equation sabotage and processor sabotage with it which is what I have been feeling dragging me down all day like pouring #blueblackbrownandred sugar and tapioca in the gas tank of the racecar-like mind of mine, but the fuel/thought-energy mechanism works like a water wheel where it picks up one reference idea to process at a time, like a digital bit or byte of data in a stream, each 'thought-focus-moment-frame' picks up content from the environment, but then it is reflected off the internal helplessly-completely-beyond-defamed-and-tortured-by-my-own-country's-military-and-my-own-friends-and-family??? You know what I say to that?
F7ck nationalism.
Sorry, everyone is on your own to be judged as an individual when the ultimate guilt trip hits, forever, and it will, and it can't be undone, and that's why I have been so pissed and so forcefully patient with so many for so long, but if you were me, well, how can you possibly even imagine what it's like being me when you have...
...you have...
...you have...
If you're all 1, then you're all responsible for any single act of any single one against an innocent, and just because their is a Lego sea of human apes overheated and unsupervised that have been getting away with it via multiple negative asymmetrical all-poweful tactics, and when the truth comes out it can't even stand against itself - and that's just f7cking funny, but the fact thatb so many have gone so far beyond respect or human decency and remote reciprocation of charater and caliber now do to the core sabotage of my existence from my apparently not even real mother to my horrible acting friends and strangers that have tortured me just like the people that did the evil acts using nothing but words and insanely-without-souls-or-consideration-or-others-or-what-is-right-fair-and-decent ... from this twisted, tortured, and apparently foolishly defamed beyond comprehension behind my back circumstance - I can't separate to evil doers for their specific actions left bleeding, unapologized, and uncorrected from the rest of the football team and blanket of technological isolation, so yeah, you're apparently all in the boat with the people that raped me at the moment, I presume that<ms where the 'Lola' re-ripping-open of all those clearly-not-healed-in-being-in-the-first-moment-before-myself-explained-company of the Jaguar. But I'm not a whore like apparently history bis bgonna call all these proud 'check my DNA' *zooms out while digital 'imprints' measure deeper both backwards, into the Future, and at the very moment* social broadcast platform and well-being destroying faux rescuers?
I mean. I think the world and I have been insulted enough, and any further insult, as I've beenm trying to explain for awhile now, is actually just building up the tab for the repayment of it, but it's not something that can be bough with anything except on the valuation in which I see things, and there are hilarious ways that
What a f7cked up world. If you've played a part in the harm, you have no excuse. Being too stupid, mean, apathetic, and conditionedly deceitful are...let me check...oh, sorry, not good enough excuse to correct the 'forgiveness' equations, without whatever is responsible for the evil/dead/harm-compunding response and logic instead of immediate emergency remedy for the harm the designs of the very God damn same beyond-flawed system has already caused.
You're gonna kill yourself? You're gonna throw your sunglasses down the side of the hill then jump after them? Then your just gonna do some dumb-beyond-WTF comprehension other stay-the-heck-away-from-my-sanity-and-well-being other stuff and go back to being the monster like a blonde Barbie not-remotely-on-my-level-or-operating-frequency alien angel delusional sex toy Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde sh7t and leave it at that?
And if you notice, I don't consider Angie's behavior evil like Candy's was when she came back as that different person, I considered Angie's more tortured and tragic, that's what the whole chapter on trying to 'save' her was about.
Which is the f7cked up part. If I had money and resources I use it to save and protect the girls and the kids and people like me and the world from the monsterous way in which things are presently controlled, associated, weilded, but I've never been rich enough, but wanted to find the girl before was rich to make sure I wasn't used for money, altough I have tons of business ideas and ambitions from my entire life before the Hollywood fastlane underworld Barbie collection disfigured my existence, actually, that's the only reason I was momentarily in the club scene which I hated, but only because of the people. The drugs and music and lights were awesome, which is why I took that learned knowledge for later use, dropped the club thing like a mislead business research experiment, and isolated on my house to get away from all those relatively interesting but very-very-dirty people that had made me so disgusted with human behavior left alone with the nuclear medicine in the dark in this modern dark ages system.
But then the remodeling project started, and then I was still in the awkward position of being the friend who knew everyone and was therefore constantly being asked to get things for friends, which being "too nice" might make some of these low-ranking clueless idiots talk sh7t, but when your me and my character is far-more-father-figure in all these roles, it's not something that can be attacked or changes, because when you're dealing with powerful and therefore dangerous stuff it's a key requirement, where this inversed-polarity system that has allowed these goons to torture while the machine is passively alive has failed on some levels that is the kind of sh7t that starts internal affairs-like revolution of row-boat command. I mean really, I don't think anyone even remotely yet realizes just how offensively insulting beyond explanation so much of what has happened is, apparently in the one-sided, blind, and ironically-evilally-misled-by-the-very-same-things-that-evilally-misled me behind-my-back blanket gag order? silence that has my God damn life-known-and-lived star caliber having the Ferrari credit stolen and used by.
Time out.
How has everyone been behaving, specifically, since late 2006?
Hey, it's been almost 5 years, and 5 years is a LONG time to go without when you're the diamond in the rough, and not something that I think any/all those on the other side would be willing to sacrifice or endure, so
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