It's sad, but true. In all my individualized analytics of human beings by their behavior in regard to circumstance, my entire life giving too much of myself and often being extremely disappointed in others as a result, I can no longer accept the behavior of some regardless of where my born-into situation may have placed them in my life. Especially now that I realize the true extent to which some people are just failures as human beings when I have put my life on the edge and in harm's way too many times as a test. Denial is not OK. Remember that. Nor is limiting, crushing, or destroying the dreams and well-being of others with whatever/any/all power of influence or position one may have or been handed when any sane, kind, and decent soul would listen, care, and do what was within their power to help as a human being when others are clearly and unduly suffering.
I would get into the volumes of specific details, but I'd rather just make a list of the types of people I wish I would have been born or fallen into the company of instead, and God-willing they will at least acknowledge or remotely appreciate all my dreams, abilities, and lifetime's worth of truly epically designed content towards history-making-for-the-better ends.
My kids will need a grandparents and aunts and uncles from somewhere, and I'm now accepting applications based on content of character and similarly minded worldviews, ambitions, and interests. It only makes sense I guess. Obviously if my actual family were truly worthy of being considered family, or even friends, I would never be here like this now, much less have endured such much of what I have. It's that simple.
The good news for some and possibly bad news for others is I will no longer remotely be citing the example of my mother or the forfeited existence on this planet doing so my entire life has seemingly cost me. As a helpless infant born into this world I had no other choice. As an adult the least I can do is remove those who don't support my dreams and ambitions from my life, much less blindly, insultingly, and apathetically belittle and bully me when most vulnerable.
Of course, since all the put-downs and multiple-year-long tested and now unforgivable examples of behavior are based on the seemingly-concrete-to-them statement that nothing I've created, namely this very test and the decade plus life I sacrificed to create the narrative exist, then I guess no one is reading this, so I could really, really, really unload if I wanted to...but I have a new family and friends to find in real-life 3D, and an entire ongoing epic saga to rewrite accordingly.
Don't be surprised to find hand-written pleas for human decency on your gate. My Family are now those who behave as such. The others will have no part or profit in anything my existence, ideas, and efforts inspire or create from this point on.
What a shame my genetic combination wasn't born into a social environment that nurtured and amplified any unusual talent or ability I may have instead of suppressing, denying, belittling, and misdirecting it my entire life. Hell, to this very day even.
I mean really, how sad is that? Anything I've accomplished as this non-existent writer/thinker using nothing but a computer, cell phone, the internet and my core Being has had to happen against the wishes of the people that brought me into their one-in-umpteen-whatever-million bullsh7t existence, and on top of that...
I'll just stop now. To make a long story short: Darlene is fired. I should have fired her a long time ago, but I couldn't accept that I had been sooooo wrong in giving her so much credit or trying to make my parents proud my entire life.
Is there anyone out there that would like to be my replacement Friends and Family and actually have a sincere interest and belief in anything I write about or have created? Then good, now is your chance. Don't blow it, as of course, all this becomes part of the story as it's told as well, and things have reached critical mass.
Have a pleasant evening.
:)
No comments:
Post a Comment